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The thing that I’ve loved about the posts on moving this week is that they weren’t really just about moving. They were about defining marriage for ourselves, about dealing with the massive uncertainties life throws at us, and about embracing change. Today, APW Associate Editor Maddie talks about how moving in together was hard. Not because they had relationship problems, but because she was scared of what marriage meant. Her post cut through layers of bullshit for me, made me think clearer (and secretly made me love her mom).
When I was fifteen, my mom came home and announced that she’d found me a job. She and my father had decided that it was time for me to learn adult responsibility (also I was beginning to cost my family the kind of money that only a high school girl can spend) so my mother had done the hard part and had gone and found a job for me. She was so pleased that she’d found a position so close to home that would cater to my class schedule that she nearly missed the part of the conversation where I’d started crying.
Bawling over the countertop,φορεματα
I explained that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to work. (Which was my mom’s first and most terrifying fear. Had she raised a loafer?) I just (sob) wasn’t (sob) ready. Getting a job felt like such a big step, and the decision was being made for me. I hadn’t had time to consider what it meant, to weigh the consequences against the rewards, and thus I was convinced that this very big step was going to change everything about life as I knew it. My mother, of course, told me to stop being irrational and to go clean my room. So I cried, then I cried some more, and then when I’d officially exhausted my body’s salt resources, I got my sh*t together and went to work. And it turns out that working was just fine. Less fun than loafing around and doing nothing, but more rewarding in that I now had cash to burn and was contributing to society (or something like that).
To my surprise, it turns out that moving in with Michael was much like getting that first job. I had originally expected the decision to be one that I would arrive at when I was in my mid-twenties, once Michael and I had both had time to explore our early twenties on our own, and after years of “finding ourselves” we would simultaneously arrive at the conclusion that life was better spent together than apart.
Instead, I found myself at 21 years old, about to graduate, with no job prospects in sight, looking very seriously at the possibility of moving back home. With nowhere to go, the only other option was to take the plunge and move in with Michael. And while it was the obvious choice (moving to Maine wasn’t really a viable option), the decision plagued me with the same anxiety as the moment my mother told me I was going to enter the workforce. Michael and I had gotten engaged the previous winter, and while I had gladly accepted his proposal, I had also originally thought of our engagement as something like layaway. (We could decide we wanted this now, and then purchase it for real in 5-6 years, right?) Suddenly, a few months later, I was staring down the prospect of being engaged to be married. Which, it turns out, felt like an entirely different beast altogether.
I was scared sh*tless.
However, since I lacked the words to articulate this fear at the time, and because it was right in front of me, I decided that the real thing to be feared was moving in together. Yes, THIS would be The Relationship Step That Ruined It All. Now, I understand that the circumstances surrounding our cohabitation were different than most. For me, moving in together was a decision I was accepting under duress as a result of my socioeconomic condition. It meant giving up living in New York City, which was the first place I’d felt at home in a long time, and saying goodbye to any young urban twenty-something fantasies that HBO and I had cooked up together. Moving in represented all of the aspects of marriage that I was secretly afraid of, but was too young, naive or unaware to recognize.
I’d like to say that I used my anxiety to explore some of the fears I was having about marriage, but instead I threw a fit that would make my 15-year-old former-self proud. In the five months leading up to living together, I managed to reduce all of those big time fears into tiny nitpicky arguments. I refused to talk about buying a car because it meant giving up a future where we might live in a walking city together. I couldn’t hear the word “Connecticut” without crying because it would drum up images of Stepford wives and khaki shorts, and I wasn’t about to buy into either of those ideologies. Each minute detail became a breaking point in the conversation. And each conversation led to the same conclusion that this step was too big for me. And I just (sob) wasn’t (sob) ready.
Of course what really was happening was that I was acting out against the prospect of losing myself. I had only just been granted a few years of independence from my parents, and I had spent that time diligently building myself into the kind of person I could be proud of. And now I was just supposed to turn around and give that up for the rest of my life?
Not without a fight.gallakjoler
So the next few months of our relationship were plagued with tears. I sobbed and sobbed, and accused our relationship of being the harbinger of death, all while Michael sat patiently on the other end of the phone, waiting out the storm. Then, once I’d tearfully stated every proclamation of what would and would not be tolerated in our new life together, I accepted that moving in was what we were doing, got my sh*t together, and packed up Michael’s truck for the hour drive out of Manhattan and into suburbia.
And indeed, the first few weeks together were hard. I was crying myself to sleep at night and watching daytime TV during waking hours while waiting for job offers to come through. (Being unemployed without transportation and with no friends nearby is not something I recommend.) Meanwhile, I analyzed every move Michael made as symbolic of things to come. Did he ask me to clean up after myself? HE’S TURNING ME INTO A STEPFORD WIFE! Did he request that I not touch the fancy new technology he bought until he has a chance to show me how it works? HE DOESN’T SHARE! PARTNERSHIP IS BUILT ON SHARING! I wanted so badly for the answers to be wrapped up in the flaws of our relationship, because it was easier than admitting that I just wasn’t ready to let go of the life that I’d had.
It wasn’t pretty.
But then, slowly, things became less hard. When the lease was up on Michael’s apartment a few months later, we began the search for a new one. Looking at apartments made us a team again, and it allowed me to focus energy away from what was being lost and toward what we were gaining. I’d nearly forgotten that I had waited, pined, and suffered through six years of long distance dating, dreaming of the day that Michael and I would wake up together in a place we could call our own. So we found a garden-level one-bedroom within walking distance of the train station and a few weeks later I received an offer for a job in Manhattan that I could commute to.
As we all know by now, that living situation didn’t last long.abendkleider
hääpuvut But it was an important step in the direction of where we are now. I needed to know that I wasn’t giving up everything for marriage, that there was indeed a way to have it all, so that I could later make a conscious decision that having it all was never what I wanted.
Truthfully, I did lose some of myself when I moved in with Michael. And I still mourn a bit for the things that were lost (I miss being a ten minute train ride away from my girlfriends, being able to walk to the grocery store, or sitting in the park having lunch on a Tuesday). But moving in with Michael wasn’t all sacrifice. I became an adult with Michael. I learned how to stick up for what I need in a relationship. I gained the support of a partner who puts my needs on the same level as his own. And most importantly, I discovered what it means to be an individual in a partnership. Four years ago, I was afraid that moving in with Michael would change who I am. I thought that moving in together and getting married meant that suddenly I’d be saddled with a list of character traits I could never live up to. Now I’ve learned that just because circumstances change, it doesn’t mean I have to radically change as well. I also learned that it’s all right if I do change when I need to, even if it is for him, even if it is hard, because sometimes that’s just what you have to do when you say “Yes.”
So, maybe my worst fears came true. Moving was a huge step that I just wasn’t ready for. But even if I was pushed into the deep end too soon, well, I learned to swim real quick. I didn’t drown. And if I was flailing my arms and treading water to start, well, at the very least I’ve learned to do this thing a little more gracefully now.
Let’s review. Over Thanksgiving weekend, after taking nine flights in four months (including some long-haul international ones) my longtime dislike of flying turned into a full on, panic attack fueled phobia of flying. Fun times y’all. SUPER fun times for my husband when I couldn’t get on our connecting flight in Phoenix, and we were going to Albuquerque. (Good came out of this even in the short term, by the way, least you think that good things do not grow from bad. We had a spur of the moment road trip over Thanksgiving. I took a round-the-whole-country book tour sponsored by Amtrak. I’d never give those things back in a million years.) And then, also, I was finally “working on” or really,φορεματα galajurken life was “working on me,” helping me to tackle and start to solve my anxiety condition. (Onset: Quitting theatre and moving to San Francisco. Conclusion: Writing and publishing a book, having it do well. Take Away: Go figure.) But the one huge anxiety monster I had yet to wrestle was my enormous fear of flying. Damn it. I joke a lot that I married David because, on some core level, he was always the person that could keep me driving forward. I am very good at seeing what I should probably do next (say: start a blog, write a book, take fear of flying training). And then I’m spectacularly bad at figuring out what the first step is and taking it. Why? Because once you take the first step, you’re actually going to have to do something about it, so it’s way easier to not figure it out. David has always been phenomenally good at wandering off, researching the first step for me, and then helping me do it. Always. He did this for me when we were platonic best friends, and he does it for me now after seven plus years together. Who set up the first blogger blog for APW? (David.) Who put in the first email to an agent we knew on the book? (David.) Who signed me up for a Fear of Flying course? (David.) Now, I don’t say that to discount my own ambition and hard work in any way. Once the first step is taken, I then climb the mountain on my own (with cheering from the sidelines). But that first step. Help on the first step is worth its weight in gold. Look for that, always. Notice it. Value it. So, after Thanksgiving’s total melt down mid-air, David signed me up for a Fear of Flying Course, which, I frankly would have done just about anything to avoid. We enrolled in a course that involved eleven DVDs worth of training on everything from the psychology of fear, to how flying actually works, to visualization. And then I did a phone counseling session. And then I had to fly. In case you were wondering, I hated every damn minute of it. I hated watching the DVDs (though they were interesting), I hated doing the visualizations (though they were pleasant), I sweated through the counseling session (though it was helpful). Why? Because I knew that all of it led to me getting on a plane again, something I absolutely, under no circumstances, wanted to do. But David said I had to. Stupid spouses. It worked out that my first flight,gallakjoler Plus size dresses from San Francisco to Chicago, was on my own. I know, right? Like it could get worse. David had to fly out to New York to get sworn into the bar (yay!) so the best he could do was meet me at the gate when I arrived. In case you were wondering what getting ready to fly after months of training is like, it’s terrifying. Luckily, my course had prepared me for that. Until you can prove to yourself that you have the ability to fly without fear, your pre-flight anxiety is going to be off the charts. So I packed. And I panicked. And I watched my iPhone training video about getting ready to get on the flight. And I got in the car and I drove to the airport. A key part of this particular Fear of Flying course is meeting the pilot. I mean, there a ton of other things that I worked on, but the final step is supposed to be meeting the person flying the plane. I wasn’t sure why this was going to help, but I’m pretty good at following orders. So I got to the airport and asked to meet my pilot. I was flying Southwest, which, no surprise, was great about it. And sure enough, when I walked up to the cockpit (something I felt very familiar with after watching a million and one take off and landing videos), the two men manning the stations made me feel right at ease. Were things going to be fine? Sure they were! Was I worried about turbulence (even though I now knew it was never a problem)? Here was the turbulence map so I knew what to expect! Did they think I could have a great flight? They sure did! And you know what? Against all odds, I did. No more shutting my eyes and squeezing my arm rests when I took off. Nope! Now I walked myself through the actions pilots go through during take off, watched the air push the plane up, and suddenly enjoyed the fact that we were gliding, magically gliding, over the water… and then up up up into the air. When there was turbulence, I focused on what was happening (and looked down at the pretty views). When there wasn’t, I happily watched my movie. I arrived at the gate in Chicago to meet David exhausted, proud of myself, and drenched in sweat. He’d pushed me, but I’d done it by myself. When you don’t like flying, people lay diagnose you with a lot of things, like “control issues.” What I’ve learned over the last few months is that’s not exactly accurate (surprise). When people asked me about my fear of flying, I always told them that “I just didn’t think I should be in the air,” and people laughed at me. Turns out, I was right. I didn’t really believe that flying worked (so I spent a huge amount of effort keeping the plane up with the power of my mind). And I also didn’t believe that planes that took off also landed (those endless take off and landing videos helped). And did I have control issues? Not exactly. But I mostly thought, in my heart of hearts, that the plane was flying itself. And no surprise there, I didn’t trust a giant machine, operating alone, with my life. The second I figured out that there were experienced, super kind people flying the plane, and that they had this, I was able to let go. It’s not that I have control issues, per se; it’s that I’d rather give up control to people that I trust. But perhaps the real story is what happened on the way home. I’d flown once, but of course I was worried about my ability to do it again. This time, I chatted with the pilot in the airport, and he told me to come up to the cockpit as soon as I boarded. When I arrived, he gestured to the co-pilot’s seat. “Have a seat,” he said. (David, later with slight, and wry, awe, “Man, the shit you get by being cute and charming” which is totally a gold-plated fact.) He then asked me with genuine concern why I was so afraid of flying, and he explained to me that he loved flying so much that he tried to go up in his own plane every day he wasn’t working, “Best thing in the world,” he said, “I never have to work a day in my life.” And then. Sitting in the co-pilots seat in the cockpit, he told me to grab the control wheel and pull up, just like I was taking off. On the actual plane. At the actual gate. “You’ve got it,” he said, “You could fly this thing.” I went back to my seat grinning. We had a rough take off. Not terrible,abendkleider hääpuvut but the kind where you’re pushing hard through a cloud layer, and bumping around. I was having a bit of a hard time. And then we broke through the clouds, and the sun was out, and I’d done it. The older, drama queen, flight attendant came by to check on me. “Take off.” She said, “I love it. It’s the only time we really get to go fast. I always think of The Doors “Break On Through (To The Other Side)” as we’re doing it.” And then, all those miles above the earth, every time we hit turbulence, the flight crew would come on the loudspeaker, tell us what was going on, and then end with, “Meg! We hope you’re having a good flight. Don’t worry, we’ve TOTALLY got this.” And they did. And I did too. Turns out, what it took to Break On Through was the same tool kit I always use (though hell if using it ever gets easier). My husband pushed me hard. I did the work, even when I was so terrified to that I would sweat and shake during every video. I showed up. I talked to people. I charmed my way into situations. And then I trusted that other people had me. And they totally did. Control issues, my ass. Do I belong in the air? I’m not totally sure. But it’s possible, one day, I might learn to like it. I may not be a bird, but I’m willing to give it a go. Let’s break on through to the other side. The info: I took the SOAR Fear of Flying course, which I obviously totally recommend (plus, it has a guarantee, so there is that). I justified the price to myself by saying it was the cost of about one flight to New York that I wasn’t taking…
Let’s review. Over Thanksgiving weekend, after taking nine flights in four months (including some long-haul international ones) my longtime dislike of flying turned into a full on, panic attack fueled phobia of flying. Fun times y’all. SUPER fun times for my husband when I couldn’t get on our connecting flight in Phoenix, and we were going to Albuquerque. (Good came out of this even in the short term, by the way, least you think that good things do not grow from bad. We had a spur of the moment road trip over Thanksgiving. I took a round-the-whole-country book tour sponsored by Amtrak. I’d never give those things back in a million years.)
And then, also, I was finally “working on” or really,φορεματα
life was “working on me,” helping me to tackle and start to solve my anxiety condition. (Onset: Quitting theatre and moving to San Francisco. Conclusion: Writing and publishing a book, having it do well. Take Away: Go figure.) But the one huge anxiety monster I had yet to wrestle was my enormous fear of flying. Damn it.
I joke a lot that I married David because, on some core level, he was always the person that could keep me driving forward. I am very good at seeing what I should probably do next (say: start a blog, write a book, take fear of flying training). And then I’m spectacularly bad at figuring out what the first step is and taking it. Why? Because once you take the first step, you’re actually going to have to do something about it, so it’s way easier to not figure it out. David has always been phenomenally good at wandering off, researching the first step for me, and then helping me do it. Always. He did this for me when we were platonic best friends, and he does it for me now after seven plus years together. Who set up the first blogger blog for APW? (David.) Who put in the first email to an agent we knew on the book? (David.) Who signed me up for a Fear of Flying course? (David.) Now, I don’t say that to discount my own ambition and hard work in any way. Once the first step is taken, I then climb the mountain on my own (with cheering from the sidelines). But that first step. Help on the first step is worth its weight in gold. Look for that, always. Notice it. Value it.
So, after Thanksgiving’s total melt down mid-air, David signed me up for a Fear of Flying Course, which, I frankly would have done just about anything to avoid. We enrolled in a course that involved eleven DVDs worth of training on everything from the psychology of fear, to how flying actually works, to visualization. And then I did a phone counseling session. And then I had to fly.
In case you were wondering, I hated every damn minute of it. I hated watching the DVDs (though they were interesting), I hated doing the visualizations (though they were pleasant), I sweated through the counseling session (though it was helpful). Why? Because I knew that all of it led to me getting on a plane again, something I absolutely, under no circumstances, wanted to do. But David said I had to.
Stupid spouses.
It worked out that my first flight,gallakjoler
Plus size dresses from San Francisco to Chicago, was on my own. I know, right? Like it could get worse. David had to fly out to New York to get sworn into the bar (yay!) so the best he could do was meet me at the gate when I arrived. In case you were wondering what getting ready to fly after months of training is like, it’s terrifying. Luckily, my course had prepared me for that. Until you can prove to yourself that you have the ability to fly without fear, your pre-flight anxiety is going to be off the charts. So I packed. And I panicked. And I watched my iPhone training video about getting ready to get on the flight. And I got in the car and I drove to the airport.
A key part of this particular Fear of Flying course is meeting the pilot. I mean, there a ton of other things that I worked on, but the final step is supposed to be meeting the person flying the plane. I wasn’t sure why this was going to help, but I’m pretty good at following orders. So I got to the airport and asked to meet my pilot. I was flying Southwest, which, no surprise, was great about it. And sure enough, when I walked up to the cockpit (something I felt very familiar with after watching a million and one take off and landing videos), the two men manning the stations made me feel right at ease. Were things going to be fine? Sure they were! Was I worried about turbulence (even though I now knew it was never a problem)? Here was the turbulence map so I knew what to expect! Did they think I could have a great flight? They sure did!
And you know what? Against all odds, I did. No more shutting my eyes and squeezing my arm rests when I took off. Nope! Now I walked myself through the actions pilots go through during take off, watched the air push the plane up, and suddenly enjoyed the fact that we were gliding, magically gliding, over the water… and then up up up into the air. When there was turbulence, I focused on what was happening (and looked down at the pretty views). When there wasn’t, I happily watched my movie. I arrived at the gate in Chicago to meet David exhausted, proud of myself, and drenched in sweat. He’d pushed me, but I’d done it by myself.
When you don’t like flying, people lay diagnose you with a lot of things, like “control issues.” What I’ve learned over the last few months is that’s not exactly accurate (surprise). When people asked me about my fear of flying, I always told them that “I just didn’t think I should be in the air,” and people laughed at me. Turns out, I was right. I didn’t really believe that flying worked (so I spent a huge amount of effort keeping the plane up with the power of my mind). And I also didn’t believe that planes that took off also landed (those endless take off and landing videos helped). And did I have control issues? Not exactly. But I mostly thought, in my heart of hearts, that the plane was flying itself. And no surprise there, I didn’t trust a giant machine, operating alone, with my life. The second I figured out that there were experienced, super kind people flying the plane, and that they had this, I was able to let go. It’s not that I have control issues, per se; it’s that I’d rather give up control to people that I trust.
But perhaps the real story is what happened on the way home. I’d flown once, but of course I was worried about my ability to do it again. This time, I chatted with the pilot in the airport, and he told me to come up to the cockpit as soon as I boarded. When I arrived, he gestured to the co-pilot’s seat. “Have a seat,” he said. (David, later with slight, and wry, awe, “Man, the shit you get by being cute and charming” which is totally a gold-plated fact.) He then asked me with genuine concern why I was so afraid of flying, and he explained to me that he loved flying so much that he tried to go up in his own plane every day he wasn’t working, “Best thing in the world,” he said, “I never have to work a day in my life.” And then. Sitting in the co-pilots seat in the cockpit, he told me to grab the control wheel and pull up, just like I was taking off. On the actual plane. At the actual gate. “You’ve got it,” he said, “You could fly this thing.” I went back to my seat grinning.
We had a rough take off. Not terrible,abendkleider
hääpuvut but the kind where you’re pushing hard through a cloud layer, and bumping around. I was having a bit of a hard time. And then we broke through the clouds, and the sun was out, and I’d done it. The older, drama queen, flight attendant came by to check on me. “Take off.” She said, “I love it. It’s the only time we really get to go fast. I always think of The Doors “Break On Through (To The Other Side)” as we’re doing it.” And then, all those miles above the earth, every time we hit turbulence, the flight crew would come on the loudspeaker, tell us what was going on, and then end with, “Meg! We hope you’re having a good flight. Don’t worry, we’ve TOTALLY got this.”
And they did.
And I did too.
Turns out, what it took to Break On Through was the same tool kit I always use (though hell if using it ever gets easier). My husband pushed me hard. I did the work, even when I was so terrified to that I would sweat and shake during every video. I showed up. I talked to people. I charmed my way into situations. And then I trusted that other people had me. And they totally did. Control issues, my ass.
Do I belong in the air? I’m not totally sure. But it’s possible, one day, I might learn to like it. I may not be a bird, but I’m willing to give it a go. Let’s break on through to the other side.
The info: I took the SOAR Fear of Flying course, which I obviously totally recommend (plus, it has a guarantee, so there is that). I justified the price to myself by saying it was the cost of about one flight to New York that I wasn’t taking…
Denver, CO (PRWEB) February 19, 2013
Almost 40 dates remain on Bon Jovis latest tour, causing search traffic for tickets to continue jamming along at a high volume.
In fact, demand for seats was so overwhelming for last Sunday nights concert in Toronto, another performance was scheduled for Monday.
Set to promote the bands twelfth studio album called What About Now, the tour is named Because We Can The Tour after one of their latest songs.
The rockers perform in Ottawa tomorrow night, February 20, 2013, before embarking on a series of U.S. dates that start at the Consul Energy Center in Pittsburgh on February 21 and at the Bryce Jordan Center in State Park, Pennsylvania on February 23.
From there, stops in Buffalo, Atlanta, Tampa, Sunrise, Charlotte, Nashville, Cleveland, Columbus, St. Louis, Louisville, Oklahoma City, Lubbock, Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, St. Paul, Austin, Dallas, Kansas City, Des Moines, Denver, Salt Lake, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Glendale, and San Jose are planned.
Next comes the European leg of the tour, which opens in Ireland on June 15, with stops scheduled in Germany and Switzerland. The current schedule calls for the tour to return to the U.S. for a gig in Chicago on July 12, and a series of concerts in Detroit, Foxborough, East Rutherford and Uncasville on October 25, 2013.
Search traffic for Bon Jovi tickets continues to hit high volumes, said Felina Martinez at online ticket marketplace BuyAnySeat.com. As many of the bands upcoming concerts are starting to fill up, were proud to be able to offer fans a great selection of cheap Bon Jovi tickets, with a worry-free guarantee to protect their purchase, said Martinez.
To access the complete and continuously-updated selection of tickets we now have available, customers can go to BuyAnySeat.com and search for Bon Jovi then select their tickets, said Martinez.
After over 30 years on stage, 12 studio albums and some 2,700-plus concerts performed to over 35 million fans in over 50 countries around the world Bon Jovi is still rocking and rolling out the hits.
Formed in 1983 in New Jersey, Bon Jovi consists of lead singer and namesake Jon Bon Jovi, guitarist Richie Sambora, keyboardist David Bryan, and drummer Tico Torres. The American rock band delivers an eclectic combination of rock, country and pop influences in their music.
The band is also known for their dazzling state-of-the-art productions with the latest technology in sophisticated stage lighting and special effects that never fail to leave fans speechless.
The latest trek will treat the faithful to one-night-only shows in numerous U.S. arenas across the U.S. continent. The road trip also includes multiple stadium shows, including a two-night gig at MetLife Stadium in the bands home state of New Jersey, as well as recently added dates at Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts and Ford Field in Detroit, Michigan.
Overwhelming demand for the bands previous Canadian dates led to second shows in Montreal and Toronto. According to the bands website, the group recently booked the dates in Foxborough and Detroit for the same reason, and may add further dates to their already extensive tour as needed.
To shop for cheap Bon Jovi tickets, visit BuyAnySeat.com.
About BuyAnySeat.com: An online ticket marketplace, BuyAnySeat.com connects sports, theater and other live entertainment fans to an extensive worldwide network of ticket sellers. The sites simplified listings and navigational tools enable fans to easily locate, compare and purchase inexpensive, discounted or lower-priced tickets to virtually all advertised sports and entertainment events around the globe.
The site, which is PCI-compliant and Norton Secured, also provides customers with a complete Worry-Free Guarantee on all ticket purchases. Based in Denver, Colorado, BuyAnySeat.com is a subsidiary of Denver Media Holdings. For more information, please visit http://buyanyseat.com.
At the end of last year, I wrote a post about women and money and self worth. I had just come back from spending a fantastic weekend with a group of really smart, entrepreneurial women, who had all built businesses from the ground up, and I’d been pondering the way we limit our dreams when it comes to money. I said:
I’ve been thinking about how, as women, we often undervalue ourselves, our life stories, and what we’re capable of, and that leads to lost potential. We think, “I can’t do that, I can’t dream that big, I’m being selfish to even think about this, I don’t deserve to earn (or have my company earn) that much money, I shouldn’t have delusions of grandeur.” And when this happens, we all lose. Think of all those projects that could have been created, those businesses that could have thrived, that money that could be flowing back into our communities. When we cut ourselves off at the knees we lose all that, our communities lose all that, we all lose.
And that turned out to be one of the posts I’m proudest of.Quinceanera Dresses
abendkleider
Not only did I quit my job and sell a book since then, but it gave APW-ers the encouragement they needed to make things happen. I got a small flurry of emails (and some Christmas cards and care packages) last year from people who said that particular post made them ask for a raise (which they got), or that the post kicked them in the pants to apply to graduate school. Our own Maddie finally quit a job she hated and then launched Hart + Sol Photo with her partner Monica, because of that post. Talk about dividends.
The reason I really think this conversation about women, money, and ambition is an important one to keep having in this space is because, the more fulfilled we are as people, the more our relationships thrive. So, to counter all the cultural nonsense about how being a bride or a wife or a mother is fulfilling enough on its own, we need to keep talking about the ways dreaming big makes us better brides, wives, mothers, and women.
All of which is to say, I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways women start, run, and support each other in business over the past few weeks. When I first started pondering going full time on APW, one of our regular commenters, Class of 1980, emailed to support and encourage me. She’s owned her own business for a long time, and she told me that she thought all women should own their own businesses. She thinks this, not just because the world needs more women shaping how things are done, but because women’s biology fundamentally doesn’t line up with the male timeline of the business world (and because we should all be allowed to take naps in the middle of the day as needed). Class of 1980 nailed it for me. I’ve mentioned before, part of the reason I’d always wanted to work for myself was because I wanted a family, and I felt that the working-mom/stay-at-home-mom dichotomy was bullsh*t. I was unwilling to pick between an inflexible office job, where I couldn’t stay home with a sick kid, and staying at home with my kid nonstop. And for me, the solution seemed clear: work for myself and make my own rules (somehow or other). That, and, even without kids, I wanted to be able to prioritize my family and my quality of life, in a way that office jobs did not allow me to do.
Fast-forward to two weeks ago, when I was lucky enough to attend a conference for women entrepreneurs. The conference was held in Silicon Valley, and focused on businesses receiving Venture Capital money. As someone who’s very proud of her business’s bootstrapping, self sufficient, from-the-ground-up philosophy, I listened to the talks with some fascination. I thought, “I really don’t want outside financing, but maybe I’m wrong.” But the more I listened, the more I realized that taking VC money was not why I became a female small business owner.
You see, the VC rule of thumb was brought up. Someone said that VC’s are interested in scalable businesses. They are looking for a business that can scale five to ten times in five to ten years. Which, if we translate, means that if you accept a million dollars in Venture Capital cash (which would be a crazy small amount, in that world), in five years, you’d need to be a five to ten million dollar a year business. And that’s when the lightbulb went on for me.
I started my own business because I wanted to scale my business to my life, and because I was tired of scaling my life to my business. There might be a point, in ten years, where I want to run a five million dollar a year business. I don’t know, that does not sound appealing, but hey, I know I’m ambitious and you never know. But right now? Right now I want to be able to leave work early to have dinner with my husband. I want to take a nap when I’m exhausted, I want the freedom to raise a newborn, or pick a sick kid up from pre-school. Right now, I have no interest in scaling my business to fit the ideals of a largely male financial establishment. For me, at this moment, owning a business is about doing work I love. It’s about getting emails from people who asked for a raise because of something I wrote. It’s about proudly supporting a family. It’s about quality of life.
But then, I did the yearly APW survey last week,festklänningar
Plus size clothing and I was reminded of the road blocks we set for each other as women, and the ways that this does not serve us. Ninety percent of the comments on the survey were crazy supportive (and we’ll discuss them at length next week). But I was struck by the fact that, at every point of growing this website, there has been a contingent of people that have equated growth and making money with loss of vision and values—a loss of the things that matter. One comment in the survey that stuck with me was this:
“And pleasepleaseplease do not add more sponsored advertiser stuff if you can get by without it.”
It stuck with me, because it’s a version of something I hear all too often: don’t grow the site if you don’t absolutely have to pay the bills. (Caveat here: we’ve always had two sponsored posts a week, and that number is never going to increase, though the site will obviously continue to grow in other ways.)
So here is the rub. On one hand, the male centric,trouwjurken
Hääpuvut VC funded world wants businesses to grow at an insane rate: five to ten times a huge investment, in five to ten years. On the other hand, our female centric progressive world wants businesses to not grow at all, because growing and making more money somehow means that you give up on what you believe and who you are. Or as I said in my last post:
I think as women we do a really good job about shaming each other about money. When was the last time you saw a guy tell another guy that because his new creative project was making money, he was a sellout? I mean, basically never, right? Guys say things like, “DUDE. That’s so awesome that you’re doing so well.” And women say things like, “Have you thought about how you’re selling out and destroying the soul of your endeavor by making this much money?” Because, you know, we’re ladies. We’re supposed to give things away for free, because we’re nurturers. Nurturers of the world, apparently, for free. So I need to learn how to turn those voices off, and see success as an ok thing. And yes, see MONEY as an ok thing. Even for me. As a woman. As a wife.
So we have to find balance, I think. We have to carve out a corner of the world where it’s ok to be successful, and to continue to grow and achieve as women, while still scaling our professional work to our lives. For APW, growth is important to me because it means more of what I value. It means giving my staff a raise (that they very much deserve). It means being able to produce new sites and new conversations for those of us who are a step or two beyond our wedding. It means continuing to build a sustainable business doing work that I love.
And I think this is true for all of us. Our job as women is to encourage each other not to settle. To tell each other that we deserve happiness, whether that’s being a mom, or owning a business, or quitting our job to go to grad school, or asking for a raise. Our job is to say, be self-full, that’s not selfish. To tell each other that you’re allowed to reach for more happiness. That you should try to grow your dreams to include others. That we can keep asking for more, growing our projects, and being ourselves. That this is good for the world, good for our families, good for our relationships.
What’s next for you? Because where you are is great, but I’m pushing you to keep climbing.
Hollywood, FL (PRWEB) April 23, 2013
World of Watches is celebrating Mothers Day by offering watch discounts on more than 800 womens wrist watches. Discounts go as high as 96% on some watches, and the sale includes the most popular brands like Invicta, Movado, Glam Rock, Bulova, Michael Kors and many more.
The largest discounts are being applied to watches like the Invicta Women’s Ceramics/Square Classique Diamond (white dial, white ceramic). This watch has a 95% discount; reducing the price from $ 1,395 to only $ 69.99 (limited time only). The watch has 16 white diamonds on the stainless steel bezel and a beautiful white ceramic case.
Discounted designer watches are also available from Salvatore Ferragamo. World of Watches is selling a mother of pearl watch with pink genuine crocodile leather from Ferragamo at an 80% discount. The watch was originally priced at $ 4,425 and now for Mothers Day it has been reduced to only $ 899.
This watch has a sapphire crystal that is virtually scratch proof, and a quartz movement inside of it that was made in Switzerland. Two additional straps that are interchangeable with this watch are included in the sale; one white strap and one grey strap.
A customer of the World of Watches website recently stated “I just wanted to take a moment to extend a sincere appreciation to your Customer Service Team and manager Gloria Del Ray. They are always very prompt and some of the best courteous customer service professionals I have ever interfaced with.” Dennis C.
Most watches are shipped on the same day as ordered if your order is submitted by 2pm EST. Customer service representatives are available for help via telephone and the live chat feature on the website.
World of Watches also features mens watches from some of the most popular brands like Victorinox Swiss Army, Bulova, Stuhrling, Swiss Legend, Timex, and Tissot. New deals on discount brand name watches are offered to customers on a daily basis.
About World of Watches
World of Watches is an award-winning website that has been selling watches to tens of thousands of satisfied customers since 2003. In both 2007 and 2008, Inc. Magazine selected worldofwatches.com as one of Americas 500 Fastest Growing Companies in its annual Inc. 500 list. World of Watches gives customers a superior shopping experience with:
Free Shipping on all domestic orders
100% Satisfaction Guarantee
Low Price Guarantee
30 Day Money Back Guarantee
To get the latest buzz and inside scoop, visit our blog and follow World of Watches on Facebook and Twitter.
Plattdeutsches und Bücherei-Gutschein
Bürgermeisterin Alice Gerken-Klaas und weitere Mitarbeiter der Verwaltung wollen mit den Zugezogenen gern ins Gespräch kommen. Das Kennenlernen stehe im Mittelpunkt. Begrüßt werden die Neubürger gegen 11 Uhr. Im Anschluss daran erfahren die …
Informationen und Veranstaltungen rund um die Hauptstadt Berlin und die Region
Oder einen Gutschein für die gemischte Sauna. Aber Basti scheint untröstlich. Er fragt, warum Heidi Klum Frauen seit Jahren beibringe, auf High Heels zu gehen und er in der Realität keine einzige erblicke, die das auch umsetzt. Er sehe überall nur …
101. Generalversammlung des Frauenvereins Aesch
Als Dankeschön wurden ihr Blumen und ein Gutschein für entspannende Stunden übereicht. Die Versammlung wählte Ursi Saxer als Ersatz in den Vorstand. Gemeinsam wurden die Vorstandsmitglieder Marlies Wüthrich, Alice Käser, Irene Suter, Evelyn …
MONTREAL, QUEBEC (PRWEB) December 24, 2012
Creating that distinctively recognizable yet truly original ad campaign can be a challenge even for luxury fashion houses of Paris, New York, Milan and London. Top fashion brands are renowned for pulling all stops to ensure the individuality of their ad campaigns. Enlisting renowned fashion photographers such as Steven Meisel, Mario Testino, Tim Walker and duo Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott and hiring the of-the-moment models such as Karmen Pedaru, Bianca Balti, Joan Smalls & Saskia de Brauw, fashion houses aim to maximize their chance of success.
LuxeInACity.com, a curated luxury magazine, has crafted their 2012 list of the very best fashion ad campaigns of the year.
Top 10 Fashion Ad Campaigns of 2012 are:
1- Dolce & Gabbana Fall Winter 2012 – La Famiglia: Set in a traditional Sicilian village, the fashion campaign aims to transcend the many familial values of the luxury brand. Italian beauties Bianca Balti, Monica Bellucci and Bianca Brandolini DAdda pose while lace making, embroidering and cross-stitching.
2- Prada Fall Winter 2012 Futuristic Game: Transposing cinematic shots to create a ‘virtual labyrinth of fantasy and reality’, Pradas campaign is full of geometric shapes and patterns creating a futuristic video game-inspired look.
3- Lanvin Fall Winter 2012 – Real People: To keep it real and fresh, Lanvins Alber Elbaz decided to photograph real women and men, ranging from 18 to 90, creating a regal to punkish ad campaign.
4- Louis Vuitton Fall Winter 2012 Train Travel: Set onboard a Louis Vuitton luxury train which was deconstructed, shipped then reassembled in New York City, the features a cast of beautifully clothed models embarked on a historical voyage.
5- Michael Kors Spring Summer 2012 – The Safari: Making us dream of adventure and voyage, the fashion campaign is set on an African safari of style.
6- Mulberry Spring Summer 2012 – Fun-in-the-Sun: The Mulberry models are all about having summer fun in lovely Brighton while they pose next to playful giant ice cream cones.
7- Gucci Spring Summer 2012 Golden Style: A golden experience showcasing beautiful models lavishly dressed in golden attires, the Gucci campaign is bright as the summer sun.
8- Valentino Spring Summer 2012 – Summer Romance: Set in Pezos, an abandoned mining town in Mexico, the fashion campaign evokes a feminine & poetic fantasy of delicate Valentino style.
9- Chanel Spring Summer 2012 – Cap-Eden-Roc: Shot at the prestigious Hotel du Cap-Eden-Roc in Cap dAntibes on the French Riviera, the fashion campaign suggests athleticism fun in the Mediterranean sun.
10- Mulberry Autumn Winter 2012 Fairytale Travels: Set in an enchanted yet dark forest reminiscent of a childrens fairytale, the Mulberry campaign includes two bespoke, giant forest creatures that hints of of fantasy travels.
About LuxeInACity.com
Launched in 2011 and with corporate headquarters in Montreal, Canada and Gothenburg, Sweden, LuxeInACity is a curated guide to luxury cities from around the world. Providing priceless information to affluent consumers and travelers worldwide, each luxury city guides features a curated list of premium brands waiting to service the bespoke needs of these high-network individuals.
Los Angeles, California (PRWEB) March 25, 2013
Time and Gems, recognized as the leading retailer for black DLC luxury watches, has announced the April Rolex Sale with one time offers on almost all Rolex watches, including the popular Rolex Datejust and Rolex President. The event will be published on TimeandGems.com soon. Time and Gems is the largest online retail website for luxury watches, including Rolex, Panerai, Audemars Piguet, IWC, Cartier, Breitling, Patek Philippe, Omega and Ulysse Nardin. With a collection of over 900 unique luxury watches, the Time and Gems collection offers luxury watches for every occasion and price point. Originating in Los Angeles in 1997, Time and Gems is known as the go-to showroom for celebrities to acquire the latest trend worthy luxury watches.
Time and Gems’ VP of Business Development, Alex Morano, notes, “Our Easter Rolex Watches Sale is a great time to get the luxury watch youve been waiting for. All clients can get great savings on watches this week. The great thing is that the majority of our collection is certified pre-owned, which make them affordable to most people interested in a lasting investment. They are all restored to factory mint condition and include 100% authentic appraisal papers plus our industry standard warranty.”
Men’s Rolex Stainless Steel Black Roman Dial Beadset Bezel President Style Band Datejust
Time and Gems recently catered to celebrity Sylvester Stallone, offering him a black DLC finish to his Rolex Daytona, Rolex GMT Master and other luxury watch. Morano continues with, “In our business, we strive to ensure the best customer service on all transactions. That is why we’ve been name the #1 in online luxury watch customer service for 2010 by numerous prestigious online watch forums.”
Luxury watches that Time and Gems currently offer, or plan to offer, include Rolex Submariner and every other Rolex Watches, Cartier, Patek Philippe, TAG Heuer, Omega, Chopard,Frank Muller, Breitling, Audemars Piguet, IWC, Piaget, Breguet, Bvlgary, Chanel, Tissot, Jaeger-Le-Coultre, Girard-Perregaux, Swatch, Longines, Hermes, Louis Viutton, Rado, Montblanc, Vacheron, Constantin, Hublot, Roger, Dubuis, Officine Panera, Lange&Sohne, Raymond Weil, Zenith, Baume&Mercier, Richard Mille, Blancpain, Ulysse Nardin, Ebel, Festina, Gucci, Glashutte, Original Guess, Breil, Harry Winston, Victorinox, Tudor, Maurice Lacroix, Chaumet, Corum, Movado, Technomarine and Dior.
DLC finished luxury watches, including IWC, Ladies Rolex Watches, Cartier, Breitling, Bell & Ross, Panerai, Patek Philippe and more, are all offered at TimeandGems.com.
About Time and Gems
Time and Gems has been selling luxury watches, specifically Mens Rolex Watches, over the past 30 years and retailing to customers worldwide online for the past 9 years. Their collection of luxury watches including Rolex Datejusts and Rolex Presidents is in the hundreds, making them the largest online retailer of Rolex watches in the USA. All watches are restored by Rolex certified watchmakers to Mint condition and come with individual appraisals and a 2-Year Warranty, including the DLC watches. They can be found online at their website Time and Gems.com or at their store located in the heart of Downtown, Los Angeles.
Time and Gems, the leading retailer for Rolex Datejust, is an independent company not affiliated with any watch manufacturer or distributor, including the ones mentioned in this document. Rolex is a registered trademark of Rolex Watch U.S.A. and Rolex International. Rolex, including the Rolex Submariner model, prohibits their authorized dealers from selling online and discounting from Rolex mandated retail prices.
1-888-658-5595
http://www.timeandgems.com/
Fat secret
If you want your health, we must seriously look at this article, because to a large extent, the correct intake of fat affect our physical health, know what is good fats and bad fats, how to improve your health status, thereby reducing the risk of disease.
Our modern diet is quite beneficial to the lack of a reasonable proportion of fat, so more and more suffering from a lack of beneficial fat-related diseases, mild memory loss, decreased learning ability, cholesterol disorders, feelings of irritability, anxiety, insomnia, skin dry, wrinkles, etc.; severe depression, psoriasis, arthritis (including rheumatoid arthritis and gout), migraine headaches, high cholesterol, memory loss, high blood pressure, eczema, skin diseases, diseases of the immune system, and inflammation. However, many people do not realize that their diet problems is the lack of beneficial fat or fat metabolism, and too believe that doctors, drugs suppress the symptoms, but has not been fundamentally treatment, so repeated attacks make patients more painful.
Many people do not understand fat, fat is an important material for human growth, development, repair,how to lose weight?
plus size dresses
unlocked cell phones
quinceanera dresses
galajurken
abendkleider it can supply the body heat, promote the body use sugar and protein to maintain the body’s normal growth, healthy skin, healthy brain, as well as manufacturing regulation of the endocrine essential fatty acids, is absolutely essential nutrients of the human body. (You can not imagine it, the human brain is 60% fat) fat, saturated fat and unsaturated fat can be divided into simple, here to talk about the secret of fat.
Bad fats
Saturated Fat: simply means that under the normal temperature solid fat, animal fat, such as meat, poultry, eggs, milk fat (saturated fat in coconut oil is beneficial to humans). Studies have shown. A high intake of saturated fat causes the blood cholesterol, it would disrupt the body’s blood vessels, brain cells and gene, saturated fat also promote inflammatory substances, such as heart disease, cancer, dementia and diabetes will increase the risk of high saturated fat diet can lead to low capacity of young people to learn, accelerated the adult memory decline killer, saturated fat will make you dumber Oh!
Trans fat: vegetable oil, partially hydrogenated role, cause some fatty acid molecular structure of cis to trans, trans fats increase bad cholesterol (low-density lipoprotein cholesterol) content, reducing the good cholesterol (high-density lipoprotein cholesterol) levels, may increase the risk of heart disease, and trans fats are more harmful than saturated fat, it can produce more free radicals to destroy human cells.
Trans fats are found primarily in the snack cakes, fritters, biscuits, margarine, fried fast food, french fries, fried food.
Good fats
Monounsaturated fatty acids: olive oil is not only rich in monounsaturated fatty acids, it also contains Vitamin E and carbolic acid (a useful body’s antioxidant complex). Adhere to the consumption of olive oil can lower LDL, and increased high-density lipoprotein levels, thereby protecting the health of blood vessels, prevent arteriosclerosis, hypertension and heart disease. Olive oil is very easy to digest, to help patients with stomach digestion, it can also stimulate the secretion of bile and reduce the probability of suffering from gallstones, and also avoid colon cancer. Polyunsaturated fatty acids: omega-6 series and series omega-3 unsaturated fatty acids, these two fatty acids are important to the human body, however, our diet, omega-6 unsaturated fatty acid eating too much, and omega- 3 polyunsaturated fatty acids was not sufficient. In fact, these two perfect proportion of unsaturated fatty acids is 1:1, but today, its ratio is 30:1 to 50:1, while too much omega-6 unsaturated fatty acids in vivo is transformed into a terrible inflammatory mediators, causes the body cells and tissues continued inflammatory state, which is pretty scary and dangerous, which leads to the accelerated aging, chronic illnesses, Sharp straight. A reasonable proportion of omega-6 and omega-3 unsaturated fatty acids are important nutrients for the human body, it is in good health, an important material for the brain and endocrine health.
Various vegetable oils contain omega-6 unsaturated fatty acids, including omega-3 unsaturated fatty acid-rich foods does not have much: a deep-sea fish, olive oil and flax seed oil. But quite sadly, due to the pollution of the environment, whether the fish of the sea, the fish, the fish in the river or rearing fish, are not conducive to health, all the fish in the world, mercury, PCBs and other heavy metals The content is very high, they are far more than the health hazards of unsaturated fatty acids in fish health benefits. Mercury can kill brain cells and other types of neurons, and 200 various types of industrial PCBs chemical toxins, changes the body’s immune system, the nervous system and the enzyme system, increase the risk of cancer.
Then in addition to olive oil, I recommend a more healthy and nutritious oil:
Linseed oil: it is the world’s food containing omega-3 unsaturated fatty acids the most, accounting for 57%, is higher than the fish oil omega-3 unsaturated fatty acids twice. It contains essential fatty acids can help regulate the body’s fat metabolism, reduce harmful cholesterol in the body, and also the transformation of hormone-like substances, regulate important functions of the body, brain repair, the healthy operation substances, it also produces steroids and synthetic hormones
Containing the two essential fatty acids in the omega-3 unsaturated fatty acids: DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) and EPA (eicosapentaenoic acid), DHA is also known as the magic of the king of the benefits brain fatty acid, fat in the brain, which is the most powerful chemical composition. EPA, another fatty acids Yinao, still regulate blood factors and prevention of heart disease have a good effect. A large number of studies have shown that omega-3 unsaturated fatty acids are very beneficial for the following diseases: arthritis, cancer, high cholesterol, angina, hypertension, multiple sclerosis, psoriasis, eczema, stroke and heart disease.
